{"id":4199,"date":"2018-01-15T18:08:04","date_gmt":"2018-01-16T00:08:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stevetibbetts.com\/?p=4199"},"modified":"2022-05-26T21:04:17","modified_gmt":"2022-05-27T02:04:17","slug":"brain-scan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stevetibbetts.com\/brain-scan\/","title":{"rendered":"Brain Scan"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t
\"FMRI<\/a>

My brain<\/p><\/div>\n

(Here’s the family email I sent after having my head examined.)<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hi everyone:<\/p>\n

I’m in Madison for the brain scan.\u00a0\u00a0On the way into town I stopped to get some groceries. The woman taking my credit-card looked at it and said, slowly, “Steve Tibbetts. From Memorial High?” I said, “Yes! \u00a0Who are you?” \u00a0She told me her name.\u00a0I didn’t remember her, but I said, “Oh HI! Hey! \u00a0Wow! \u00a0It’s great to see you!” We chatted for some time while I tried to remember who she was.\u00a0No luck. I was wondering if my brain\u00a0scan would show early-onset Alzheimer’s. I came home and Dad and I both drank one beer each.<\/p>\n

I went to the Waisman Center the next morning at 8:15 to meet my contact, Antoine Lutz. \u00a0Antoine is a French neuroscientist studying with Richard Davidson here at the University of Wisconsin. \u00a0I walked through\u00a0the Waisman Center and found the Center for Healthy Things or whatever it was. \u00a0Here it is<\/a>: \u00a0the Center for Investigating Healthy Minds.<\/p>\n

The Laboratory for Affective Neuroscience is the center that Richard Davidson<\/a> started. \u00a0That facility looks into the inner brain workings of autistic children, teens, depressed adults, and those with other sorts of cognitive issues. \u00a0The Center for Investigating Healthy Minds is an adjunct faculty that deals with what is calls “contemplative neuroscience.” \u00a0I was referred to Richie by Cortland Dahl, one of his PhD grad students in Minneapolis. \u00a0Cortland knew I’d logged the requisite hours of meditation over the years and Antoine recruited me for this study.<\/p>\n

I found the CIHM center, walked in, and there was the Lama Khenpo Kunga having breakfast with some of the staff.\u00a0 I’d given him a ride to the airport in Minneapolis after the St. John’s program in 2011. \u00a0He’d done the brain scan the day before. \u00a0Another participant from\u00a0the meditation retreat held up his iPhone and took a photo just as I came in. \u00a0That’s me saying hello to Khenpo Kunga with Richie Davidson coming over to hug me. \u00a0Mary knows about Ritchie Davidson, having read several of his more scholarly tomes on mindfulness in the course of her work with Ed Podvoll and the Windhorse organization. \u00a0I was startled that this major player in cognitive\u00a0neuroscience would just walk up and hug a total stranger. \u00a0I hugged him back, sort of.<\/p>\n

\"Breakfast<\/a>

Breakfast with Richie & Khenpo Kunga<\/p><\/div>\n

After breakfast Antoine and I went down to his office and went over the procedures for the day. \u00a0Antoine is French and speaks English perfectly, but rapidly. \u00a0I had some trouble understanding him and wondered if the French language part of my brain was getting its wires crossed. \u00a0(I used to be pretty good, having had a French girlfriend, sort of).\u00a0 Antoine had me sign lots of paper, assuring he and the center that I was not claustrophobic, had no metal in my body other than fillings, and wanted to be notified if they found any brain anomalies, like tumors. \u00a0Can you imagine deciding you’d rather not know if they found a tumor? \u00a0You’d check the “I do not want to know” box and, on the way out, the imaging technician would say, “Hey, have a nice rest of your day, I guess,” and you’d wonder if he’d seen that your brain was riddled with tumors.<\/p>\n

We went into the lab and went over the procedures. \u00a0This was the plan: \u00a0I would lie down on the MRI scanner platform and be outfitted with some devices. \u00a0I’d have a band strapped around my chest measuring respiration, a clip on my finger measuring my heart rate, a bulb I could squeeze if I\u00a0 wished to be ejected from the machine, a small panel with three buttons in my right hand that I would use to communicate data to Antoine and the technician in the control room, and a device strapped to my left forearm that would deliver a gradually-increasing burning sensation to my skin.\u00a0 Then they’d load me into the tube. \u00a0I was to do four things while in the tube. \u00a0First, if Antoine flashed the letters “OP” on the screen I was seeing through the goggles, I was to remain in what is called “open presence” or “rigpa”, for those who know that word. \u00a0If I saw the letters “FA” I was to focus tightly on those two letters on the screen in a way we call “shamatha with support” or “focused attention.” \u00a0At various times the device strapped to my arm would heat up to some level or other, and after it peaked and tailed off, I would use the button panel to indicate (from 0 to 10) the level of the burning sensation, and (from 0 to 10) how much suffering it caused me.\u00a0\u00a0They would be watching my brain during the simultaneous meditation and burning and see how I handled it.<\/p>\n

When I explained this procedure to Joanie a few days ago, she smirked and said, “Put your hand in the box.” \u00a0She was referring to the part of Dune (movie and book) where young Paul Atreides is tested by the Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohaim. \u00a0The Reverend Mother holds out a box and says, “Put your hand in the box.” \u00a0Paul says, “What’s in the box?” and she says, “Pain.”<\/p>\n

I’d suggest you watch this part<\/a> of the movie, because I kept thinking about it on the 5-hour drive down from St. Paul. \u00a0Start from about 40 seconds in.<\/p>\n

The first order of business was to determine my pain threshold. \u00a0In the control room Antoine strapped a small black box on my left forearm, gradually increased the heat, and told me to press the space bar on a\u00a0laptop in front of me when I found it “unbearable” or “not tolerable.” \u00a0“Which one?” I asked. \u00a0“Your choice,” he said. \u00a0We did that 10 times until he found what for me was a “10.”<\/p>\n

\"Steve<\/a>

Heat<\/p><\/div>\n

We finished that up and I got up to get ready for the lab. \u00a0The technician at the computer screen behind me in the picture said, “Steve, what’s your middle initial?” \u00a0I said, “H. \u00a0Stephen Horton Tibbetts.” \u00a0He hesitated a moment, tapped something into his keyboard, hit return, and I\u00a0 saw the letters “SHT SCAN<\/a>” on the top of his monitor. \u00a0(Later on, at dinner, Mom laughed and said, “Oh. \u00a0Sorry. \u00a0Sorry about that. \u00a0I never thought about that when we named you.”)<\/p>\n

I popped in some ear plugs they gave me (the machine was loud) and put the respiration belt around my middle. \u00a0I laid down on the sliding panel, the technicians attached the heart monitor and other devices to my\u00a0hands, and they slid me into the machine. \u00a0It started whirring and clunking. \u00a0The technicians closed the door to the lab and went back into the control room. \u00a0My heart was beating really fast, and knowing that\u00a0Antoine and the technicians were monitoring my heartbeat made it speed up even more. \u00a0We started. \u00a0Open Presence. \u00a0Burning. \u00a0Focused Attention. \u00a0Burning. \u00a0“Put your hand in the box.” \u00a0There were speakers\u00a0inside the machine. \u00a0Antoine occasionally asked, “How are you doing?” \u00a0I always replied that I was doing fine. \u00a0The machine was very loud, and I couldn’t really move my neck or head for quite some time. \u00a0Amazingly,\u00a0the burning pad did not leave a mark on my skin.<\/p>\n

It seemed to go well. \u00a0We finished. \u00a0The technician came in and unhooked everything, finally sliding me out. \u00a0I felt somewhat drained. \u00a0I didn’t ask how I did. \u00a0I sat up and Antoine came into the lab and said, “Good\u00a0job, Steve.” \u00a0I had been hoping he would throw the door open and shout, “Kull wahad!<\/a> No woman-child ever withstood that much!”<\/p>\n

But he didn’t. \u00a0The technician took our picture, and then Antoine and I spent some time in the control room talking. \u00a0Richie came in, hugged me, and gave me an autographed copy of his book<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Then I came back to Oakwood and Dad and I had a beer apiece again. \u00a0We had a nice dinner. \u00a0I typed this while Mom and Dad listened to a book on tape.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Steve<\/a>

Earplugs<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Being<\/a>

Into the machine<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Further<\/a>

Further in<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Exhausted,<\/a>

Done<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Steve<\/a>

Steve & Antoine<\/p><\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(Here’s the family email I sent after having my head examined.)   Hi everyone: I’m in Madison for the brain scan.\u00a0\u00a0On the way into town I stopped to get some groceries. The woman taking my credit-card looked at it and said, slowly, “Steve Tibbetts. From Memorial High?” I said, “Yes! \u00a0Who are you?” \u00a0She told…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[113],"tags":[12,13,117,22,141,139,144,145,138,140,60,143,142],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nBrain Scan · Steve Tibbetts<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/stevetibbetts.com\/brain-scan\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Brain Scan · Steve Tibbetts\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"(Here’s the family email I sent after having my head examined.)   Hi everyone: I’m in Madison for the brain scan.\u00a0\u00a0On the way into town I stopped to get some groceries. 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